NAKM: Dec. 15, 2024

‘Tis the Season to Die Hard. My apologies.

If you’re tired of the ‘Is Die Hard a Christmas film?’ discourse that’s been discoursed to death, I have a confession. It’s on me. I apologize.

As you can see, I may have started the much-discussed discourse back in 2012 with a Tweet liked by about four people.

The thing is, watching Die Hard at Christmas used to feel subversive and rebellious because it’s not Christmassy. There’re explosions and fights to the death and broken glass jammed into feet and Alan Rickman gravel and……

You know what — screw it — I’m watching Die Hard again this Christmas season. I guess I’m just not a rebel.

If you want to remain subversive this Christmas, you can put on Better Off Dead, Batman Returns, and this edition’s For Your Eyes Only (scroll down).

Enough chatter. Let’s take a deep dive into the season’s best.

Yippee-ki-yay Mickey Fickey’s!

(Sorry, I grew up with the TNT edit)

Tis the Season to Yule Hard

Russian farm bots chased me from Twitter. I found a new home on Blue Sky where non-porn adjacent real humans follow me.

Head on over to see my picks for the BEST STREAMING YULE LOGS. A little seasonal ambience is great for opening gifts or sitting back and soaking in the season (and scotch).

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My Pint-Sized Review of That Christmas

There's a quick gag in That Christmas that dramatically shifts the tone and style for about one second. As your kids try to process what they just saw, you'll recognize the one-second clip from your ex's favorite Christmas movie and be compelled to Google "Who wrote That Christmas?"

I won't spoil the surprise other than to say your ex's fav film is very British. And much like that film's storyline, That Christmas gets as tangled as the ball of Christmas lights you got out of storage last week. In both films, though, it all works out in the end.

That Christmas begins with one character who is barely in the movie, though he plays a pivotal role: Santa Claus. Netflix features the man in red on the film's thumbnail, but this movie is not about Santa. His narration sets up the story before we're swept off to a small-town Christmas pageant. There, we're introduced to an overwhelming number of people and plotlines – and they're firing around wordy dialogue, almost like Aaron Sorkin punched up the script.

It's overwhelming. At times, That Christmas feels like seven movies mashed into one.

Then, a little Christmas magic happens. You begin to care about the characters, and the plotlines begin to untangle — though not without a bunch of sentimental hullaballoo.

That Christmas leans into melodrama. And it leans hard. Characters are almost excessively sad or happy or nervous or plotting or strict or carefree. The good news is they're not one-dimensional. They're complicated. They have layers that go beyond the melodrama.

Suddenly, Santa is back. He has to navigate a storm to deliver presents. And his presence forces characters to navigate their feelings.

There are a lot of feelings. That Christmas is heavy-handed preaching about community and family and friends and whatnot. It wouldn't work if it weren't for the whole Christmas thing.

Part of the Christmas magic is that it lets us be expressive without judgment. We can be cheesy – with our music, our decorations, our sentiments, our sweaters, and our movies.

That Christmas doesn't succeed without a splash of that Christmas magic. It may even sprinkle enough of the magic on your family to bring it back next year.

You'll survive That Christmas without a mug of bourbon-heavy nog, though a double dose of a good winter ale won't hurt.

Streaming: Now on Netflix

Rating: PG (Me: 6+)

Director: Simon Otto

Starring: Brian Cox, Jodie Whittaker, Fiona Shaw

Run time: 1h 31m

Post-credits scenes: None. The end credits show us how the next Christmas changed for the families.

Sequel? Unlikely

If you liked That Christmas, check out these films:

• The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (2024)

• The Santa Clause trilogy (1994 - 2006)

• Prancer (1989)

• Love Actually (2003) (…after the kids go to bed)

Fresh Cuts

There are no new family films streaming on any service in late December, unless your family is in to violent post-apocalyptic wastelands. In theaters, a blockbuster prequel debuts and one of the year’s best arrives in time to help stuff stockings (Hint: It’s not Piece by Piece).

Streaming 🛜

Netflix

• (Dec. 30) Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) (12+)

Seriously, that’s it. And it’s a stretch for a family film.

In Theaters 📽️

• (Dec. 15) White Christmas (1954) (Re-release)

• (Dec. 20) Mufasa: The Lion King

• (Dec. 20) Sonic the Hedgehog 3

• (Dec. 22) Royal Ballet: The Nutcracker

On Disc 📀

• (Dec. 17) Transformers One

• (Dec. 17) Piece by Piece

News You Can Use (and Sometimes Booze)

All the new trailers, cool collaborators, tech and gadget releases, theater openings, and booze news that’ll make or break your family movie nights.

• Peek: Watch the first eight minutes of anime The Lord of the Rings: The War of Rohirrim. Evidence Warner Bros. may be sweating bullets over its U.S. release.

• Industry: Family-friendly films drive box office.

• Theaters: Discount movie days coming in 2025. An attempt to bring people back to theaters. Discount details are still being worked out.

• Fantasy: Pre-production begins for film based on Fablehaven book series.

• Booze: Atari introduces glass decanter set perfect for bourbon-fueled sessions of Tank and Warlords.

• Food?: Introducing the official hot dog straw. Unlike the hot dog beer straw that went viral in 2022, this one is not edible.

Papa Do Preach!

Let’s Get Rec’d!

You’ve likely seen every Christmas movie multiple times. That may include a few versions of A Christmas Carol. It’s one of my favorite stories. The seasonal flavor. The horror. The redemption. That said, there are dozens of adaptations to pick from. Rotten Tomatoes lists 83! It’s hard to pick just one. Allow me to help. Here are my ten favorites for you to watch with the kids.

10.  Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol

A silly, but charming take on the classic tale. It features all of the gags from the half-blind, fully delusional cartoon character.

9. Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

A short, but sweet version of the story that’s beautifully hand-drawn and jam-packed full of Disneyness.

8. A Christmas Carol (1997)

An animated musical with a few storytelling flourishes that stray from the original but don’t distract. Tim Curry as Scrooge is 😙🤌.

7. Disney’s A Christmas Carol (2009)

This is the dead-eyed Jim Carrey one. If you can look past his soulless shark eyes, Jim Carrey offers a stoic but approachable take your kids will enjoy, especially when the redemption kicks in.

6. A Christmas Carol (1938)

The original full-length talkie. It hits all the right notes and has that old school MGM filmmaking charm.

5. A Christmas Carol (1984)

A bleak version of the classic. But the cast, music, and settings bring you back to the Dickens era like no other.

4. Scrooge’s (1988)

The funniest interpretation of the Scrooge scripture. More importantly, Bill Murray and Karen Allen have chemistry that make you feel the self-debilitating impact of his selfishness more than any other version.

3. A Christmas Carol (1951)

Alastair Sims defines Scrooge in this darkly atmospheric adaptation that gives you all of the seasonally festive feelings you want this time of year.

2.  A Christmas Carol (1971)

An Academy Award-nominated (!!!) animated retelling of the classic. Features a wonderful cast and the impeccable work of animation icon Ken Harris (How the Grinch Stole Christmas!).

1. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Michael Caine anchors this mostly Muppet cast. He never wavers, bringing a dark, intimidating Scrooge to the Muppetverse. Despite his presence, the Muppets are not out-acted. They are a Christmas miracle. Tip: You’ll find the untrimmed original version under the film’s “Extras” on Disney+.

For Your Eyes Only

What to watch when THEY go to bed.

The Thin Man (1934)

Nora: How do you feel?

Nick: Terrible. I went to bed sober.

The Thin Man is the booziest rom-com holiday murder mystery of all time. And it leans into the “com” more than any of its other genres. The jokes are sharp despite being nearly a century old. You will laugh. And laugh. And laugh. However, don’t laugh too long, or you’ll miss a few hilarious, zingy one-liners. The plot is not thin. Nick is a retired detective married to socialite Nora. They get roped into a Christmastime murder investigation.

Nick and Nora, played by real-life couple William Powell and Myrna Loy, exude charm. They love each other, and it comes across on screen, even as they roast each other. Forget Die Hard. The Thin Man is the best Christmas film that’s not about Christmas.

You can watch this subversive holiday classic with older kids -- though, if they get the jokes, check their sock drawer for booze. The Thin Man is currently not streaming. You’ll have to rent or buy it. But at $4, you don’t want to pass on this classic.

Tip: It pairs wonderfully with the drink below.

The Nick and Nora Martini

Ingredients:

• 2.5 oz London Dry gin (Beefeater, Tanqueray, Bombay Sapphire)

• 0.5 oz dry vermouth (Dolin, Noilly Prat)

• 1 dash orange or grapefruit bitters

• Ice cubes

Garnish:

• Lemon twist or one large green olive (for garnish)

Instructions:

1. Chill: Place Nick and Nora glass (any martini glass works) in the freezer for 15 minutes.

2. Mix: Pour gin, dry vermouth, and bitters into a mixing glass. Add ice cubes and stir gently for 20 seconds. Allowing the mixture to chill and dilute slightly.

3. Strain: Strain the martini into the chilled glass. Remove any ice shards.

4. Garnish: Drop in one large green olive. OR — rub a lemon peel over the rim of the glass and drop it in.

5. Slam: If you’re like Nick and Nora, you pound down five of these to get the day going.

The Man Behind the Mask

Thanks for reading and subscribing!

I am a former television news journalist who now writes about movies, parenting, and tech online (and occasionally on paper). My number one job, though, is making sure my girls grow up with steady heads on their shoulders. I think our shared movie nights have a positive impact on their self-esteem and develop an awareness of the world around them. I relish every night — except for maybe Baby Geniuses. I got through that one with my good friend George Dickel.

Brendan Knapp