NAKM: April 15, 2025

It’s <sigh> Earth Day

Every parent wants to reinforce the importance of a planet free of garbage, pollution, and all the micro-things that are slowly killing us. But let’s face it, eco movies are boring.

Worse, some are boring and obnoxious. Like, I get it, The Day After Tomorrow, we can’t ignore the scientists. You don’t need to say it 23 times. You’ve somehow made a disaster film a disaster because you’re berating me with eco-ethics.

Other movies like 2012 and Geostorm also drunkenly breathe down your neck with their overbearing messaging. If you want your kids to respect your planet and want to keep their communities clean, you won’t do it by hitting them over the head with eco-responsibility.

No. You need to sneak the messaging in the backdoor. You need to show them the effects of a battered world and let them draw their own conclusions.

Think of the first time you saw the future in Back to the Future Part II where a billionaire Biff turned Hill Valley into an environmentally and culturally polluted hellscape. That’s the seed you need to plant. That was the turning point for me — not FernGully or Free Willy. I suddenly understood why my parents recycled, preserved water, and bought locally when they could. They didn’t want to turn our town into Hell Valley.

My recommendations will shotgun that Earth Day SIGH right back down your throats. We’re going to take our kids on a post-apocalyptic tour to show them what happens when you ignore the scientists — without repeatedly saying not to ignore the scientists.

Cheers!

Brendan

Subscribers, please share with friends.

My Pint-Sized Review of A Minecraft Movie

Minecraft is considered a brilliantly designed, accessible, witty, thoughtful video game that parents and teachers utilize to make learning fun. It’s smart fun.

A Minecraft Movie is not smart. But it is fun. Dumb fun.

There will be no Oscar consideration or National Film Registry preservation for this branded content creation. But you may chuckle depending on how many drinks you’ve had. Your kids, on the other, will laugh out loud. Our theater even had a handful of cheers.

Kids love Minecraft — even the ones who haven’t set foot in the pixelated cube world. My five-year-old never played the game, but she recognizes the sandbox in which the film takes place. It’s that mega-brand movie style with big spirit, a group of somewhat likable archetypal characters, and a varying scale of cleverness that places A Minecraft Movie closer to The Super Mario Bros. Movie (meh) than The Lego Movie (Hell yea!).

The story rockets us through the lore in the opening scene. Jack Black gives us a grand tour. Then we settle in on the kind of oddball small-town character piece we’ve come to know from director Jared Hess (Napoleon Dynamite). The casting works. At first, Jason Momoa feels like he’s trying too hard, but his portrait of a washed-up video game champion comes to form.

The script won’t wow you. Everyone says what you’d expect — most of the time. There are little moments that feel outside the box, and those are where the movie becomes fun. Hess allows the well-established members of his cast to add their personal flair to the dialogue. It sort of works.

Stylistically, the film looks like most comedy TV shows on air and streaming today. I’m talking over-saturated warm tones, flat lighting, and over-polished post-production. I get it, the style is cheap and easy to work with. But it’s a little bland, especially on the big screen — especially given Hess’s Napoleon Dynamite color palette. You know the one.

It’s not surprising that A Minecraft Movie is kicking butt in theaters. It’s just good enough to warrant a theater visit. And your kids will likely get the inside jokes that make fun of game lore. There are also a few storytelling choices that could surprise you.

That said, if you’re headed to the theater, bring a flask of your favorite booze. I don’t think A Minecraft Movie is quite on the level of Ass: The Movie from Idiocracy, as film critic Walter Chaw says — but dumbing yourself down with a little hooch does help wash down most of the obvious humor.

In theaters: Now

Rating: (PG) (Me: 6+)

Director: Jared Hess

Starring: Jason Momoa, Jack Black, Emma Myers

Run time: 1hr 41m

Post-credits scenes: A mid-credits bit that plays off a secondary story line and a post-credits scene that could set up a sequel.

Bathroom breaks: According to RunPee, the best times are:

• 21:20 after Henry calls Garrett to pick him up — just before the action starts.

• 48:35 after the bad pig says “I’m really sorry, I just have to unalive you and stuff” — you’ll miss a few jokes but nothing critical.

Sequel? Why not? It’s making a ton of money.

If you liked A Minecraft Movie, check out these films:

• The Lego Movie (2014) (5+)

• The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) (5+)

• Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (7+)

• Pixels (2015) (10+)

• Minecraft: Story Mode (Netflix interactive show)

Fresh Cuts

The latest family films to hit all screens. Not all are winners. Watch at your own risk!

In Theaters 📽️

• (Apr. 18) Sneaks

• (Apr. 18 limited release) The Legend of Ochi

• (Apr. 25 wide release) The Legend of Ochi

• (Apr. 27) Happy Gilmore (Re-release)

On Disc 📀

• (Apr. 15) Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024) (6+)

• (Apr. 15) Batman Ninja vs Yakuza League (2025) (10+)

• (Apr. 29) Paddington in Peru (2025) (4+)

News You Can Use (and Sometimes Booze)

• Superman: I am stunned by how incredible this sneak peak looks. James Gunn isn’t just launching the DC brand with this film, he’s rocketing it into the cinematic stratosphere. This appears to be a brilliant resurrection of Superman. Marvel, your play?

• Marvel: The studio is bringing in the big guns for Avengers: Doomsday. Will the story match?

• Spider-Man: Sorry for all of the superhero chatter, but this is big news. The best (by far) Marvel film series has a release date: June 4, 2027. I imagine the first two films in the trilogy will be in theaters leading up to Beyond the Spider-Verse — otherwise even I may not remember what happened.

• Disney: Live-action Tangled on hold after the mediocre showing of Snow White and its half-assed dwarf animations. Who knows, maybe the live-action Lilo & Stitch coming next month will rescue Rapunzel.

• Wine: I hope your cellar is full. The National Association of Wine Retailers has dire warnings about the tariffs.

Papa Do Preach!

Let’s Get Rec’d!

Check my list before you wreck yourself next family film night.

Too Soon?

Children of Men is not for our softest little souls. But some of our older kids are ready for this bleak outlook on the world. Why? Because despite the shocking, realistic violence on screen, there is still hope in this world. If your kid likes Lord of the Rings but wants gritty realism with fewer elves, orcs, and balrogs, Children of Men hits the spot — and blows its arm off. Your kid also has to be ready for nudity. Very unsexy nudity. Almost National Geographic-level boring nudity. What makes this film great is it shows us humanity at its most depressing and uplifting. And director Alfonso Cuarón does it in spectacular form, keeping you on the edge of your seat through the thrilling finale. Children of Men is currently streaming on STARZ.

Kickin’ It Old School

F*** you. I won’t do you what you tell me. In Silent Running, Bruce Dern truly rages against the machine…with help from machines in this post-apocalyptic space movie you’ve definitely never heard of. He and his robot crew are maintaining a space station greenhouse to allow future generations to see the magnificent plant species that once grew on Earth. When he’s told to destroy it to make room for cargo, he and his buckets of bolts revolt. Don’t expect eco-Star Wars, but there is a fantastic and relevant sci-fi story here. And the special effects are incredible — no surprise, considering director Douglass Trumbull oversaw the visual effects in Blade Runner, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. You can rent Silent Running on most rental streaming services.

Secret Sauce

A planet ravaged by war. Most ecosystems are left uninhabitable. Humans survive in pockets of livable spaces. But there’s hope that the planet can be saved. Tell me if you’ve heard this story before. I’ll tell you in response, you haven’t seen a telling of the story like this. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is one of the first Studio Ghibli films. Its hand-drawn world is as creatively rich as you’d expect. But it’s more than eye candy. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is an epic story about the power of optimism. It’s a magnificent, family-friendly sci-fi film that will introduce your kids to a hero they can easily root for. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind is now streaming on HBO. I mean Max.

For Your Eyes Only

What to watch after THEY go to bed.

Dredd (2012)

“I am the law!” Sorry if you hope to see Sylvester Stallone hacking spittle at the lens in this reimagining of the Judge Dredd comic. This 2012 take is nothing like the corny 1995 film. The tone is gritty. The violence is brutal. The humor is actually funny. Dredd is set in an irradiated wasteland where nearly a billion people inhabit one city. Judges police the city, making verdicts on the spot, yielding guns instead of gavels. In this telling, Judge Dredd is teamed up with a rookie with psychic powers to take down a drug kingpin. Get your drinks ready before you hit play. You won’t want to stop once you start. Dredd is streaming on HBO. Fine, Max.

The Scorched Earth

You can almost smell the post-apocalyptic wastelands in these movies. But can you taste them? Let me help you out. Trust me — you’ll want to keep your dusty canteen at your side, you’ll need a little hydration after this tasty but arid cocktail.

Ingredients:

• 2 oz Islay Scotch (Laphroaig, Ardbeg, Lagavulin)

• 1 sugar cube

• 2 dashes Angostura bitters

• Splash of hot water

Garnish:

• Orange peel

Instructions:

1. Bomb: Add the bitters and sugar cube

2. Nuke: Hot water dissolves the sugar

3. Smoke: Add the scotch

4. Whirlwind: Stir the contents

5. Chill: Add a large ice cube

6. Flame: Add the orange peel

Cheers!

The Man Behind the Mask

Thanks for reading and subscribing!

I am a former television news journalist who now writes about movies, parenting, and tech online (and occasionally on paper). My number one job, though, is making sure my girls grow up with steady heads on their shoulders. I think our shared movie nights have a positive impact on their self-esteem and develop an awareness of the world around them. I relish every night — except for maybe Baby Geniuses. I got through that one with my good friend George Dickel.

Brendan Knapp